Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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