We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
