My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
did i just pee glitter
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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