The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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