A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I had to cum in my sink.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
