i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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