Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
