Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
