pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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