oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We need to get me chipped asap
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
