Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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