Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I need water and some morals
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
