My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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