You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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