He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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