how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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