last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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