yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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