Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
