We're facebook friends in real life
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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