Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
