I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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