If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
