I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
