i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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