oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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