I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
