You made me cry and you don't even care
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
