the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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