Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
