Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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