Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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