no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
