I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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