dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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