I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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