i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
