i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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