I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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