i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
