He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize