If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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