He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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