Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
