So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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