hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bring me that man meat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
