Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
