the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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