you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's blow job season.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize