kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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