Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
