Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
