I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
