my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
