Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
