remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
