I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
