I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
